Eric’s Blog

We went to lobster night tonight at the local seafood joint. I can honestly say I’ve never ordered, broken down, and eaten a whole lobster before tonight. 🦞 It was…an experience. Not one I’m sure I’d repeat.

Not being a connoisseur of lobster, I’d say it was a mediocre one. After breaking it down, I had to cut the tail meat with a steak knife to get it into bite sized pieces. There were other…parts…that were just shy of being gritty and others that had a jelly-like consistency. After trying a bite of everything, I decided to eat the tail and claw meat and leave everything else behind.

The worst was how my hands got messy while breaking down the crustacean. I like my hands to be clean. Having lobster juice all over them wasn’t pleasant for me. I saved the wet naps for after I was done but it was difficult not asking for more while we ate. I really wanted to wash up afterwards. Cracking into the claws, I squirted lobster juice on me and on Adrianne. I guess that’s why some places give you a bib.

If you’ve never broken down a full lobster before, it isn’t difficult. There are about eight steps in the process:

1. Rip off the claws
2. Crack the claws with a nut cracker
3. Break the tail off the body
4. Rip off the little legs under the tail, then the tail fin, then use a little fork to push the meat though the tail.
5. Break the smaller legs away from the main body
6. Break the main body in half from the underside and clean out the meat
7. Suck the smaller legs from the main body (not the tail legs) like a straw to get the meat out.
8. Eat as you go or all at the end

I didn’t have any luck with the smaller legs in number seven, though I tried each one.

I did get caught by a little boy from the next table playing with the claw and making the pincers open and close by moving the cartilage (?) in and out. I made a comment about Moana and Tamatoa which made him smile and laugh. He must have found it funny that a grown man was playing with his food.

Well, I did it. I don’t know that I’ll do it again. I’m not a fan of food I have to work for. I prefer ready to eat food, not food that requires eight steps on a blog post in order to eat it. Put it on a bun and I’m ready to go. 😝

I also don’t care for lobster because of my first ship. I was terribly sea sick and passing the chow line on lobster tail night, I decided to skip and go to bed as soon as I smelled it. After six hours, I felt better, but no one else did. The Tactical Action Officer and I were the only two who weren’t sick. Neither of us ate the lobster tails and I made up my mind to never ate seafood onboard a US Naval vessel after that. I’m proud to say that’s one goal I stuck to throughout my career.

I think the reason aliens haven’t made us aware of them is because we eat the bodies of other creatures on our planet and they see us as savages. Breaking down the lobster was a violent experience. I had a difficult time being okay with ripping apart the lobster’s body to get to the meat inside.

As I said, I did it. I don’t know that I’d do it again. To each their own. Bon appetite. 😋 Pass the hush puppies.