Eric’s Blog

This morning, I was at the doctor’s office for my weekly allergy injections. I was sitting in the waiting room next to another patient, an older, black lady when she turned to me and said, “You have very small feet”.

It wasn’t something I’d expect one friend to say to another, let alone strangers, so it took me a few minutes to recover my wits and respond by changing the subject. “I suppose so. Isn’t it nice that the weather has cooled off?”

Sometimes I worry about how to respond in uncomfortable situations, so I’ve memorized funny saying and witty comebacks from movies and books and I practice these things in my head regularly so as not to be caught off-guard. When it comes to the situation, I almost never say what I’ve practiced and stumble over my words trying to express myself. I’m just glad I didn’t come off with something like, “Back off lady, I’m a scientist.”

This situation was a bit of a stretch, so unconsciously reverted to the guidance that Professor Higgins gives to Eliza Doolittle, and subsequently, that Professor Higgins’ mother gives to him,”I suggest you stick to two subjects: the weather and your health”.

I am uncomfortable interacting with people on a normal basis. Interacting with someone in an unusual situation such as this makes me exponentially more uncomfortable. I wish I understood people better, I don’t think it’s possible.

I’m intelligent enough to know that I’m not the only one that feels this way. Feeling like an impostor or depersonalized is something everyone experiences at some point. There are times though when I can’t help but wonder if it just happens to me or if it’s some universal constant.